Disclaimer: The person on the other end of that phone call is one of the nicest people I know and, therefore, would never have done this intentionally to be rude. I actually debated including this one because I don’t want her to feel guilty. And yet…

I host a lot of parties and many of them include different parts, pieces and schedules. I also tend to include a lot of information in my invitations because I believe a good hostess should prepare her guests for certain facets of the party or, for instance, let them know when dinner will be served at the Pumpkin Party (the carving starts much earlier and is more-or-less fluid in arrival times). In the case above, it was Jen’s birthday and we were doing activities that she requested and, because her birthday coincides with a major holiday(-eve) we were having the party a day early with cake at midnight, once it was actually her birth day.

It is my firmly held belief that at someone’s birthday party you do what that person wants–it’s the perk for getting older. It’s one thing if you’ll be late because of other obligations and arrive when your schedule allows, but to purposely avoid portions of the party as if you were skipping classes is not the way to go about it. In general, if the expected activities are not to your liking it is much better to RSVP a regret and send your birthday wishes separately to the honoree. But in this case, the planned activities didn’t exactly gel, that night, and we actually ended up doing things the unfashionably late guest would have really enjoyed (including watching one of her favorite flicks).

For the record: from the very beginning my pumpkin parties have had at least 30% of attendees who did not carve a pumpkin. Did they wait and just come for dinner? No. They came to the party and hung out with everyone and had a great time. To my knowledge no one I have ever invited has turned down the invitation because they weren’t interested in carving pumpkins.